Making art under the influence of old age

Artist book page by Judith Hoffman with lots of squiggly lines, showing what a shaky hand can do.

I originally started this post to be about aging and making art. There are physical limitations that creep in. But it also became some musings on aging and how I try to accept that.

Much to my surprise, I turned 80 this year. Even after seeing my parents and in-laws age and die, I'm surprised at how hard it is. Of course I have medical things to deal with, but the physical slowing down is what gets to me. I am not very bothered by my wrinkles and sagginess. After all, I am lucky to be alive, to have a home and food, and to have family and friends who love me. And lucky to be able to work on projects that are engaging. But the lessening energy, the physical struggles, are disheartening.

I have had a tremor in my hands for years, it's getting worse. I'm left handed and the left hand tremor is more pronounced than the right. Sometimes when I draw my lines are wavy. It can be frustrating. I try to regard the wavy line as a feature. At times it can blend in well with my drawing style, which is somewhat loose. Warming up helps, finding the right posture helps. Using scissors to cut out things has also become harder. With small things I cut right handed and brace my right hand against my left as I cut. It's much harder to cleanly cut larger things, where my hands can't brace against each other. I think getting tired makes the tremors worse. (My doctor says there is no physical ailment, it's just age.)

Detail from drawing showing squiggly lines produced by shaky hand. It's a consequence of getting old. They don't always work for me, but here they do. 

I have less energy than I used to. I have always been slow to complete projects, now my books evolve at a snail's pace. In part because they are more complicated, but I also don't get in the studio as much. Many household tasks are ignored. I sometimes lose interest in an art project before it's finished. I am, as always, easily distracted, often more interested in doing something new than repeating what I did last month. It does help to try to make small progress on a project, just a little drawing in a background can re-ignite my interest in the pages I am trying to complete. There are tricks that most artists know,  spending time cleaning in my studio. And spending time with tools and materials, even if it's just to doodle. It also helps to make collage papers, or to cut out things I might use in collage.

I must say, the process of drawing and collaging is still as alluring as ever. Once I start I am engrossed for several hours and end up feeling so rewarded.

As I have aged my priorities have changed. I care more than ever about the process and less about showing the books. Some people want to leave a mark before they die, but that's not me. I would like to have some of my books in public collections, but haven't pursued that much. And I feel that when I'm dead I won't really care anymore. If I spend more time making things and less on entering shows, that's the best way to spend my time. I want to enjoy my life now. 

Page from an artist book in progress by Judith Hoffman.

My dad used to say "it could be worse" whenever he mentioned his physical ailments. Meaning he could be dead. I think of him often, and agree completely. 

"... as we move through our lives, the way our bodies change, and ultimately death, can be our teacher. Forgiving our bodies - for dying, for aging, for becoming sick - can feel impossible, even radical, but it's essential if we want to fully appreciate the time we have. We can love our lives, even while knowing that one day they will end." Martine Panzica, from Lion's Roar, November 2025.

Happy Holidays to you all. I hope you will be content with life and feel productive in the coming year.

Judy

Fixing a big mistake

I mostly like this page, but the arm of the woman behind the large hand is bothering me.

For all the wonky drawings that I accept as fine, this one was not fine. I spent 3 weeks thinking about what to do (and working on other pages). I could just glue more eco dyed paper over the part I didn't like, but it would stand out as being glued on.

Drawing over the arm with white ink made a mess, but it did lighten those lines.

I made a stencil and printed a thin coat of pale titan buff on the areas that were bothering me.

Then I glued coffee splattered abaca paper on the offending area.

A new arm is collaged on. Maybe it's too short? I think his arm and shirt need a pattern.

Sometimes this looks okay, sometimes I am not happy with it. I'll put it away for a while.
 

Here I have extended the aura around his neck. I also added shrubs and another arm for the woman. I feel the sleeve needs something. Check out this recent post Jane Davies recently did about a change she made in one of her paintings. She has a very good attitude toward making changes, and she is skilled at it. I agonized over every step here, feeling bad that I had made this mistake. I need to take Jane's approach. And if I can make mistakes and correct them I will feel more okay with experimenting.

 

Are you curious about critique groups?

A page from my recent in-progress book, running figures that needed faces.

Years ago when I mentioned critique groups to a friend she said “oh, no! I’m not interested in brutal criticism.” But that’s not what I’m talking about. In the groups I have been in people make suggestions, give feedback and say what they like. They don't attack. A critique is a way to hear what other people see in your work. After working on something for weeks or months, I can’t see it clearly any more. I often come to dislike whatever it is and I only see the flaws. If my critique group likes something I don’t, I reconsider. If they think something isn’t right, I also reconsider. I don’t feel bound to go with their ideas but many of their suggestions are useful. 

Here are some examples of suggestions and benefits: 

1. Don observes that most of my stuff is wonky (in a good way). I loved that and try to get that to happen now. I'm actually not sure I do, but it's a goal.

2. I have a few silhouettes in my most recent book. One has a face, the others do not. Linda (instagram) says “put a face on it.” I try it with tracing paper and think it’s a great idea. So I add faces. 

3. Rae (Etsy) says I have a sense of humor in my books. I think I do, but don't expect others to get it. So I’m delighted.

4. Karen (Instagram) likes my "borders - not borders." These kinds of comments are helpful. I feel a lot of doubt about many things. And thinking of them as bordering on borders is helpfu. I can break more rules, even if they are rules I made for myself.

5. I was writing layers of text on book pages - several sentences on top of each other. L. suggested I blow them up and use them as collage material. I tried this but it didn't work. They look too fuzzy to me.

6. There have also been practical suggestions, sealing drawings with shellac is one I loved.

7. I am fascinated by the creative process. Not the art mumbo-jumbo about Post Modern blah-blah, but how people think, what they struggle with and what comes easily. I get to see this in the group.

8. The meetings are a mini-deadline for me. I want to have some kind of progress to show so I put in a little extra effort when I can. We also have good conversations about creativity and life in general. At the end of our meetings I feel inspired.

There are lots more examples, these just spring to mind.

Sometimes people have suggestions that don’t work out, or that don’t appeal to me. They understand if I don’t take their advice. They may not take my advice, I understand that too. I do the same thing with Jim. We offer each other advice about our projects but it’s fine to ignore it. I also get feedback from a few friends. These trusted eyes are very helpful. It’s important to me that the people I show my work-in-progress know me and know more or less where I want to go with the project. They are people I know and like and trust to be thoughtful in their comments. I like their projects and how they think. If I'm going to open myself up for criticism, some kind of connection is important to me. It's very hard to find that. Covid ruined some of my good feedback. Hopefully that will eventually not be an issue.

Do you have a good source of critique and feedback? Does it work for you?

On the blog notifications - I made a mistake. Apparently if you were signed up for notifications before Blogger changed their widgets, you will still be notified. I didn't read the email from Blogger very carefully. Some of you are getting two notifications. Feel free to tell me to stop emailing you at judithDOTzDOThoffmanATgmailDOTcom. 

Life and Art

Magnificent book shelves installed 6 years ago. They were a long time dream. The ones left of the fireplace were Jim's, most of his books went into his museum. The others were all mine, with books below and toy cameras on the top two shelves. They were lovely.

At the end of this post is a little note about subscribing to my blog.

I normally don't post about the complications of just being alive.  But of course they do have a bearing on art making, especially for people who don't have wives to manage things. There are many things going on at our house, the most stressful is mold remediation. I have been having migraines for almost three years. It took two years to find the source, some mold under a built-in cabinet in the basement. Now we're preparing for remediation.  Part of the process is disposing of all porous things that can't be cleaned. I had to part with most of my books - Jim estimates there were one thousand. I did do a lot of research and found it was best to get rid of them. The ones I'm keeping will be in storage for two years, giving my reaction time to decline.  Many were art related in some way, although I had two shelves of books I intended to read "some day." I have an irrational fear of waking in the middle of the night and not having anything interesting to read. I kept about one tenth of the total. But have added to my library since, mostly replacing some that I could buy used. But of course buying new books too. All recently acquired books go into the safe part of the house.

This summer, the shelves are almost empty again. The toy cameras will go into storage too. Many have cardboard parts.

There are other family things happening, some are very good. But it all takes time and energy to deal with, and it's all important to me. Sometimes I feel art is on the back burner. I mostly keep the weekends for art, but when Friday afternoon rolls round I find I have lost touch with what I'm working on. Still I usually can get some momentum by the end of the day Saturday. Just playing with the materials helps a lot. I also keep telling myself I don't have to finish anything. 

I recently heard an artist say it doesn't matter if she leaves something for prosperity. What matters is the process and living life to the fullest now. I agree with that more and more. Unfortunately I don't remember who said this brilliant thing. Very possibly one of the presenters on the Art Juice podcast.

The ongoing challenge is to find a way to stay connected with creativity while I am doing other things. 

I made a mistake when I read the Blogger message about subscriptions. I thought they were not providing subscription notifications any more. It turns out if you were signed up before they turned that function off, you will continue to receive notices. You may be getting two notifications, one from me and one from Blogger. Don't hesitate to ask me to remove you from the list. I am sorry for the confusion. And if you would like to be notified of new blog posts, email me at judithDOTzDOThoffmanATgmailDOTcom. Note: that is a "z" not a "2."

If you are following other blogs you might find Feedly useful. It's an app that works on iPads and iPhones. I don't know about Android.

Coating collage papers with matte medium

 

Drawings on architect's tracing paper, coated with matte medium

I have been not very energetic lately, but a good way to keep busy is to clean the studio - that hasn't happened yet - or to draw on architect's tracing paper for future use in collage. I like to draw faces or patterns. This is a low- risk activity. If I don't like a face it can be tossed, or maybe cut into pieces. Drawing patterns is very meditative. I coat the tracing paper with matte medium to pre-size it and make it more translucent. 

Drawings on architect's tracing paper, coated with matte medium

It seems to work best if I coat both sides at the same time, so I have been using old seed catalogs, painting one side of the tracing paper, flipping it over immediately and painting the other side. The seed catalog page gets pretty wet with matte medium, but I just keep going. I also use this method to coat my collage papers with a mixture of PVA and water before using so they don't curl quite as much. The inks are all d'Atramentis document inks. They are pretty waterproof and permanent. I do find the red ink smears a bit if I brush over it several times. The tracing paper is not as absorbent as drawing paper, some other inks also smear. Pitt brush pens will completely dissolve the d'Atramentis inks on this tracing paper.

Solution for warping paper with collage

Blind contour drawing on collage. Judith Hoffman 2020

 In my last post I was worried about collaged papers warping. I got a number of suggestions from my book arts group and friends online. I think I have found a solution that is not perfect but will work for my method of collaging. Most of these are in my Flickr albums.

Here are my notes, which I intend to print and hang on the wall in my studio.

• Try to have grain of substrate and major collage pieces in same direction.
• Coat back and front of substrate with Gold matte medium. (not liquid matte medium). Coat one side, allow to dry, coat other side, allow to dry. 
• Draw on tissue paper (yellow stuff I have been calling architect's tracing, but may not really be that. It's light yellow, in a roll.) - at least the blind contour can be drawn on, can also add hatching. Coat back and front of tissue paper with matte medium to increase transparency. Coat one side, allow to dry, coat other side, allow to dry.
• Make the collage using PVA for the opaque papers.
• Add the transparent papers using matte medium as the glue. The would be last or almost last to take advantage of the transparency and layers. While adding transparent papers paint the whole collage with matte medium.
• Between all stages dry under stacks of books.
• It is possible to draw on the collage with d'Atramentis inks at this stage. Adding small details and patterns.
• If the collage is still too warped when it's done, wrap in a damp dish cloth (smooth texture like the black and white ones), wrap in waxed paper, leave under a few books for 15 minutes. Put between two pieces of blotter paper, leave at least overnight. First test was about 18 hours. Things are not perfectly flat but fine with me. Things can take days or a week to dry in blotters.

Looking Back, blind contour drawing with hatching and collage. Judith Hoffman 2020

Substrates that have worked:

• Bockingford - has textured surface like cold press. 
• Rising Bristol 2 ply - very slight texture.
• Strathmore mixed media - also fairly smooth.
• Fabriano Artistico 300 lb. 

Caran D'ache Neocolor II Lightfast ratings

Caran D'ache lightfast test in window with southern exposure approximately April to December 2019

I have been playing with the Neocolor II water soluble crayons a little bit. They are fun, and very nice to use. I find them fairly soft and they dissolve easily in water. You can use a wet brush to take some color off the tip of the stick for small bits of color, or scribble all over a page and then apply water in selected areas. Once they have been watered down they don't smear on the paper. A solid crayon mark does smear.

In 2015 the Wild Portrait Artist blog posted this lightfastness chart (scroll down for the chart, which comes from Caran D'ache) and an interesting bit of information. It's the only information I can find online. The chart from Caran D'ache is out of date - some of those colors have been discontinued. And there are some newer ones. I don't have them all, I think there are a total of 84 colors. I got most of mine at Artist's and Craftsman Supply. I can't find a web site for the Portland stores, but here is their Facebook page.

I prefer to do my own tests, using paper I like, in this case Strathmore Imperial watercolor paper. I decided to make a quick test to put in a window with full sun exposure. I scribbled in the top area of the box and used some clean water on a watercolor brush to pull the crayon into the lower part. The right side of each column was covered with a dense paper. The top three rows are colors that are listed as fugitive. Some of those turned out to be pretty lightfast. Unfortunately I forgot to date the test. I am guessing it was in a window with sun or bright light from April to the end of December. I scanned the test on January 1, 2020, a few days after taking it out of the window. I will tell you what I see on the actual test because computer colors are so varied. The image will enlarge if clicked.

Periwinkle Blue has a very slight change, mostly in the watered down area.
Light Olive changed a tiny bit, the watered down area is a tiny bit lighter.
Olive also a bit lighter in the watered down area. It seems to change in tone from a warmish olive to a cooler olive where it fades.
Carmine is very faded in the watered down area.
Pink may have slight fading but it's almost undetectable. I may just be expecting to see fading there.
Russet may have very slight fading.
Ochre is extremely different in both areas - it goes very much to greenish yellow.
Brown has no change.
Raw Umber fades slightly in both areas - mostly apparent in the watered down section. It's still a beautiful color.
Lemon Yellow is so light it's hard to say, but I think it faded a bit in the sun.
Yellow also may have faded a tiny bit in the sun exposed side.
Orange is noticeably faded in both areas.
Salmon is a tiny bit faded.
Vermillion may be a bit faded, it's hard to say, I may have not applied the color evenly.
Scarlet seems slightly faded in the watered down area, or maybe the color wasn't even.
Purple may have a very slight change.
Lilac may have faded a bit in both the solid and the watered down areas.
Violet I believe is a bit faded in the watered down area.
Ultramarine looks okay.
Light Blue may be a bit faded in the watered down area.
Cobalt seems okay.
Turquoise is okay.
Yellow green I'm not sure about.
Emerald Green seems okay.
Malachite Green maybe be a bit faded but I may not have applied the color evenly.
Prussian Blue seems fine.
Black may be faded in the watered down area or I may not have applied the color evenly.
Grey looks slightly faded to me.
Light Grey seems slightly faded in both areas.
White - I'm not sure why I tested white, maybe to fill in the last box. Can't see any change.

I would not hesitate to use any of the colors where I wasn't sure about the fading. I think in an artist's book they would be fine. The question remains how they would do in a gallery setting if displayed for a month under fluorescent lights, which can fade colors a lot. If you can accept a slight shift in darkness, where the color remains the same, I think all but the Olive, Carmine, Ochre and Orange might be okay. The question is - can you accept a slight shift over time? With collage I always feel things will change anyway. Papers can yellow, magazine colors will certainly fade. It's an inherently un-archival medium.

It was especially interesting to me that many of the supposedly fugitive colors are not bad. I always look at the grey to see what their range is. The Raw Umber is a beautiful brownish grey, the Black is very dark and dense where it's applied solid. The watered down part is pretty, a nice grey. And the Grey and Light Grey are on the cool side.

Did I say that? Can I take it back?

Above: 1985 - Book with no beginning or end.

Years ago when I was a student, second time around, in my late 30's - I had to give a talk to the art department. I had recently started doing a lot of collage. Small things that eventually became books. I was struggling to explain the appeal of collage. Someone in the audience said "of course collage is fast." I agreed! What? Wait! Even later that day I regretted agreeing. The person who said collage was fast was a sculptor, I don't know if he had collage experience or not. I suppose if you need a car and don't want to spend time drawing one, collage might be faster. Especially if you have some car magazines around.

But every time I work on a project, papers spread all over my studio, searching for just the right little bit to put in the corner, I deeply regret saying collage is fast. The first studio shot is maps I'm auditioning for a book I'm working on. I had to spread them all out to compare.

More bits of maps and other things I may need to add.

And the most important small bits are right in front of my work area.

Collage is not fast, in fact it can seem very slow. I do it because I love those bits of paper. So many things pass thru our lives, so many go into the recycle bin and are forgotten. But they are each interesting and have some kind of history and a message to convey.

It is also physically satisfying to take bits of paper and stick them down. As they come together in odd ways, they take on new meanings, one that feels very personal to me.

Above: 2007 - Purple Mountain Observatory

I still struggle to convey my feelings about collage - when I am doing it I am absorbed and happy. Maybe that's the most important part.

Do you have regrets about something you said about your art in the past? Or maybe you have changed how you see some aspect of your work?

Above: 2005 - The Findings of the Expedition to an Unknown Land

Before the post - I want to add this note about my last post about Procreate and buying brushes online.
Added to previous post 12-10-18: I recently had my credit card hacked somewhere on line. I hesitate to recommend small online businesses anymore. (In my previous post I suggested a place to buy more brushes for Procreate. I'm not implicating them in anyway, I have no idea where my credit card was hacked.) I imagine large businesses like Dick Black are safe, but smaller sites may have trouble keeping up with security measures. I have started only shopping where I can use a large, recognized method of payment. Many places will accept PayPal or an equivalent. Our bank caught the fake charge immediately, so we were not affected. Except for having to go to every web site where I have recurring charges and change my credit card. Not my idea of a fun afternoon.

Now, how about some entertainment? Here are some drawing videos:
Thomas Fluharty draws Chuck Close - very nice loose style. Fun to watch

Also check out Alphonso Dunn. He has a ton of drawing videos on YouTube. He is clear and very detailed in his explanations.
In this video he talks about drawing what you see versus drawing what you know.

Behind the Scenes - Drawing with Procreate on an iPad

I resisted the idea of an iPad years ago, thinking it was just a big phone. My son and husband bought me a second generation iPad for Christmas one year, based on my son's thought that I would enjoy it. It was such a big hit I bought another, with lots more storage, the following year. Ever since I have been drawing on it, mostly with an app called Procreate. At first my drawings were very basic. The screen is slick and it's a very different experience from drawing on paper. However there are layers, undos and erasers that work well. In the last year I have been practicing hatching, both on paper and on the iPad. I am finding the iPad more and more useful.

It's very handy to bring a partially finished drawing into Procreate and to test out ideas. Here I took a photo of the finished drawing and added the blue in the sky and a shadow in Procreate. I can also try out different backgrounds.

I can insert a photo onto the page to draw from - that's the photo of the hand front-on. I have it on a separate layer and have erased most of the image to just focus on the hand. Having the photo the same size and orientation as the drawing makes it easier for me. I can also pull Procreate up from the menu bar below and have it open side-by-side with an image in my Pictures app - that's the image on the left of the hand holding a key.

For some reason I feel freer on the iPad - I can try things out there, like this very scribbly sketch. I realize scribbling may be a more natural style for me - I love to scribble.

The pencil tools in the app have improved a lot - I plan to experiment with printing a drawing down in "pencil." It's very hard to scan a real pencil drawing and then print it to look like pencil. Maybe a digital version will work better. And yes, I do have an Apple Pencil now, and think it's wonderful. It is also possible to buy very reasonable packs of brushes from independent sellers. The last one I bought had pencils, ball point pens, oil and watercolor brushes and a bunch more.

And I can merge all kinds of photos into one canvas. I know you can do this with PhotoShop, but using the Apple Pencil seems much more intuitive to me. The above image blends together five or six photos.

Several photos merged together provide drawing inspiration.

The downside - the cost of course. And I seem to fill up memory pretty quickly. My old iPad is so full I have to delete things to make room for the newer stuff. And beware - be sure to back up a lot. If the app seems to "stutter" or not work well in some way, they suggest you delete it and download again. I lost some things I hadn't backed up yet doing that. There was no warning that I would loose all my data. That may have changed. Procreate is updated frequently. And aside from the one time I haven't had an issue with the app, just my mistakes and occasionally the Apple Pencil tip gets loose and won't work.

I have no affiliation with Procreate or Apple. Just a fan.

Spectacles for Viewing Christmas on Mars for My Mom

Spectacles for Viewing Christmas on Mars. ©2011 Life size paper Christmas card spectacles. This pair was printed on Epson's double sided Premium Presentation Paper. The slip case is red cardstock. The pattern is a free download here. On the same page there is also a plain pair (no collage) that you could decorate yourself or use as a pattern to design your own. Merry Christmas, really early! Spectacles for a Fish Goddess ©1993, 3 x 6-1/2 x 6-1/4 inches, Brass, copper, sterling silver, 14 karat & 18 karat gold, shell, coral beads.

For years I have fantasized about making some paper spectacles. I made a whole series of spectacles years ago in metal, plastic and found materials. More recently I thought they could be done in paper - fun, fast and much easier. I thought the simple ones could become another free download to add to my web site. I have a part of a maquette on my work table for a simple pair that has been chewed on by cats.

But I haven't made them, until now. The tipping point was my mom. She asked for some homemade Christmas cards. She is 88 and has some dementia. Mom often says to me "you know what I would love? Some handmade Christmas cards!" Or "A handmade birthday card would be so nice." Is she thinking I'm 10 and bored? In my 30's and broke? I'm not sure. But it's fun, and she's so sweet and upbeat, which is remarkable given how much her life has changed in the last few years. When I think of my sources of inspiration I don't consider my mom. I should. She has been there cheering me on all of my life. What a gift.

Christmas on mars, ©1988, 3-1/2 x 7-1/4 x 1/2 inches (open). Cover: brass, fabricated. Pages: collaged watercolor paper. I wonder where people go when they die? What do they do for Christmas?

The two pairs of paper spectacles I just made are based on a little book I made years ago, Christmas on Mars. I don't celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, but I'm also not crazy about using "Seasons Greetings" on cards. It sounds like a generic, all-purpose solution. But I do like the stamp, it was the best of the batch I had in terms of color and orientation.

Now I have to get back to the cover for my Spirits Under Glass book. After I make 20 more cards.

Progress on Spirits Under Glass, the Jam is approaching

Above I'm working on the pages for Spirits Under Glass, the one-of=a-kind artist's book that will hold the photos from my Zymo 127 pinhole camera. This photo was taken last weekend, right now I'm cutting out the letters for the title in brass. Next I have to make a bezel for the glass that covers a photo that will go on the cover.

Before I forget, I want to tell you about the Jam. I will be at the Book Arts Jam on Saturday, October 15th. My table is on the left wall as you come in the main door. The Jam takes place at Foothill College, Los Altos Hills, 10 to 4. There is a $2 fee for parking - bring ones or quarters. Admission to the Jam is free. Over 50 book artists will show their work. In addition there will be an exhibit of books made by members of the Bay Area Book Artists, other exhibits, a slide show of member's work, a silent auction of book arts related items and artist's talks. I have attended most of the jams, and they never fail to delight me.

I am struggling to finish this book before the Jam. Otherwise I don't think I'll have any new work. I may bring it partially completed if I don't finish.

Lose some, Win some

7 Extinction Events ©2006, 7 x 7 x 3 inches. Cover: copper. Pages: Arches watercolor paper, collage, acrylics.

I received a rejection letter earlier this week from the California State Fair Fine Art Competition. I submitted Dream Focusing Device and Tooth Icon. I have won prizes there before, and for some reason felt confident that I would get something in. But jurying is so subjective and there are many unknowns. I do wish they would give you more of an idea when they send the rejection letter. "We juried millions of really good art works, and just couldn't accept them all" is not much of an explanation. It does make me look again to see if I should have sent something different, if the images were bad, if I didn't fill out the form correctly (that has happened before - don't rush through those forms). Maybe the juror thought "teeth!? - eww, that's gross." And it did make me want to get into the studio and make something so much better than I have ever made before.

Then yesterday my copy of Lark's 500 Handmade Books arrived. I knew they had decided to use a detail shot of 7 Extinction Events. But I was thrilled to see that Steve Miller, the juror, also mentioned it in his introductory essay. "When it comes to the whimsical and playful, Judith Hoffman's "7 Extinction Events" brings the house down. A book that pops out of a dinosaur is simply too exciting not to be included in this collection. . . " (p.7) I am so delighted.

Sources of Inspiration 5/5: Death

7 Extinction Events ©2006, 7 x 7 x 3 inches.
This book is about the extinction of the dinosaurs, but also about my own personal extinction. It's the one that matters the most to me.


7 Extinction Events
I have always thought a lot about death. As I get older, it gets more real to me, and makes a bigger appearance in my art. I wonder where we came from before we were born, and where we go when we die. I sometimes envision a starry landscape. I see a vast world, with small houses, or temples, here and there on the hills. The stars wheel slowly overhead. From a distance this world would appear to be one tiny point of light. It is small enough to hold us all as the atoms of one being, yet large enough to hold our spirits, with great spaces between us.



Man Moon-Go ©1989, 4-3/4 x 3 x 3/4 inches. While reading "On Dreams & Death" by Marie-Louise von Franz, I found this quote: "Many people made a doll to serve as a substitute for the corpse. The Chinese made one from a loincloth and called them Moon-Go." A few pages later she quotes Origen: "the spiritual body (which it is believed we reincarnate into) will be of a divine nature - the whole of us will see (will be eyes) the whole hear, the whole will serve as hands, the whole as feet."


Fish Messages, © 1992. 2-1/4 x 5-1/2 x 1 inch.
Fish for me symbolize both birth and death. Sometimes I imagine a giant fish that gives birth to the universe from her mouth. Everything flows from her, and then everything returns to her.


The fish who swims in the sky, ©1993. 3.5 x 6 x 1.5 inches.
I also see fish as creatures who can go places we can't go. They could bring back secret messages or information that would help us, including information about the before-life and the after-life.


The fish who swims in the sky
Inside are guts. The last page is a silver outline of the body. I thought of it as the spirit of the fish.

Sources of Inspiration 4/5: The wish to create tools to aid me in life

Dream Focusing Device, ©2007, 8 x 5.5 x 6 inches

I would love to have tools to solve the problems in life that are so vexing. How can I remember more dreams? How does the moon work anyway? Wouldn't it be nice if there was an instruction manual for all of life? Why are we here? You can look it up in the index.


Instruction Manual for the Moon II, ©2005, 2.75 x 3 x 2.5 inches.


Instruction Manual for the Moon II

Sources of Inspiration 3/5: Found Phrases

This is part of a series on my sources of inspirations. There is an index here. These posts are greatly expanded from my 8 minute talk for the Conceptually Bound show.

Sometimes the text taken from books and titles of articles will spark the idea for a book. I find it pays to keep a collection of these phrases, both as inspiration and possible book titles.


Comet Found, ©1987, 2-3/8 x 3-1/2 x 1-7/8 inches
The title, and the text inside this book came from an article in the science section of the San Jose Mercury News titled "Comet Found to Have Heart of Darkness." I envisioned space as a river of stars, flowing from the mouth of a fish, the source of all life.


Comet Found
This was a very early book. I lightly scratched the text in the border and stars on the formica pages.


Astronomers Say, © 1998, 7 x 4 x 1/2 inches (closed).
This book came from an article in the paper titled "Astronomers Say They Saw Space Mirage."


Astronomers Say
I am fascinated by star charts. All the star names were made up by cutting up text from the article and putting words back together. The ones that sounded appropriate became the star names.


The Distance of the Moon, ©1990, 2 x 3-3/4 x 1-3/4 inches.
This book illustrates a story in my all-time favorite book, Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino.


The Distance of the Moon
I used phrases from the book on each pair of pages. This one says "She was the color of the moon." I have read this book 6 or 7 times. The imagery is very spacey, cosmic, and poetic.

My favorite unused quote is from Farok, a character in "Dune Messiah" by Frank Herbert. I'm hugely paraphrasing here: Farok sees the ocean for the first time. He says he went into that water one man, and emerged another one. Then he says "the universe is unfinished, you know." Somehow this quote has been in my head for years, but hasn't become part of anything.

Sources of Inspiration 2/5: Childhood Memories

This is part of a series on my sources of inspirations. There is an index here. These posts are greatly expanded from my 8 minute talk for the Conceptually Bound show.


zero to twelve, ©2007 4 x 2.5 x 3.5 inches (closed).
There are so many things I remember fondly from my childhood. Many of them seem to have informed my art-making urges. I have always treasured things I find, on the street or in creek beds. The penny and old bottle cap above have such nice patinas. You can see a cicada through the window above. There were cicada in Ohio, where I was born, and where my grandparents lived. I remember hearing their buzzing sound, and seeing their exoskeletons attached to trees. They seemed very mysterious to me. At times these early memories rise up in my mind with a force that surprises me. The numbers on the plastic protractor and the dial (below) refer to charts, maps, time and distance.


zero to twelve
Of course I was fascinated by dinosaurs. And we frequently played pretend games like cowboys and Indians, or Daniel Boone, depending on what movie we had seen on t.v. To start a project like this, I get out all the things that seem related and spread them out. They can dictate the size of the book, and whether the general tone is funky or jewelry-neat. I usually start with one or two interior pages and work out from there. I like to react to things as I go along when I'm making a book with lots of found objects. This makes a nice change from the meticulous metalwork, which is mostly planned out in advance. It's also a chance to indulge in some nostalgia. I still miss the landscape of the midwest, the rolling hills, deciduous forests and the fireflies and crickets.


Myself as my grandfather, made of crickets, grass and rain about 5 inches high, ©1987
Although we moved a lot, I have always felt Ohio was home. We visited my grandparents there as often as possible. I often think about the line of people who precede me. Not only as genetic ancestors, but as people who have contributed to my view of life, even if it's just to react against them.


Myself as my grandfather, made of crickets, grass and rain
I am fascinated by the old layered medical diagrams. The second layer here is a large gear, which I used to represent the spirit. I'm thinking of myself as a cog in a much greater mechanism. I am connected to my ancestors by gears and we are also connected to many other people. The whole world is a large mechanism that has many interrelating parts.